Having taken on board some comments I've also tried to tidy this lengthy tale of woe up. Thank you for your feedback, I really do appreciate it.
So I did it to Twilight I shall do it to DMC “Wuboot” as it appears to be. Firstly, a few things you should know a) my random rants are just that you don’t have to like it, I don’t much worry about the flames, since it’s just my opinion and I express it and b) I have realised that I am not a great gamer, this is made obvious by the fact that I am always the sucker to hit easy mode (except this game) first time through.
I will put the positives at the end – you can skip to those if you like the game and can skip over them if you really don’t like to hear it. I am not a fanboy, I am not an idiot. There should be an analysis with good and bad; shamefully bad overrides this for me.
So here goes – I have a confession, I like Wubwub (Dubstep) enough that I have speakers on the computer designed to play it back for maximum effect. It’s not my first choice of music but I like it enough to have some remakes like Resi Evil or Silent Hill on MP3 and I will on occasion find myself watching a Skrillex vid on youtube; so I think I should not complain completely about the music but well fuck it yes I will…
Dante: Off on holiday left you a substitute… maybe I’ll be back. Who knows?
Wubwub is something that shouldn’t be the reason you mute half the game in combat, but hey I did, I mean don’t get me wrong there were times the combat music in DMC4 was a little bit irritating, (mostly as I failed miserably to remember where I was going and ended up in fights I didn’t need( but yes I totally and utterly got fed up with it. I like the old cheesy lyrics “You can die when you’ve had enough” still makes me smirk.
I have played the first, third and forth games far more than I have played 2, so expect my comparisons to come from that whenever they come in. However I am not JUST comparing them, I think that’s pretty mean, approach it with three eyes open… did I just?. Yeah okay so one of the points I go to make is by the end I almost wanted Mundus winning, scratch that… I wanted Mundus to win… damn!
Okay in the words of Joe Swanson – Let’s Do This!
I find myself more annoyed when things are put into games that assume you are really pretty stupid. 666 branded alcohol was one of them, a small point but it irked me. I like the evil liquor, in fact just like the original Dante I am partial to a JD, I like rock and I definitely like big fat-ass chairs in my office; mostly because I have a fat ass which brings me nicely on to Virility later...
Kat is introduced by yelling at Dante from the normal world as he is in Limbo, people are so brainwashed that they don’t notice this fact, something I learnt later in the game, but what I found at first was myself going what? Where? How is this … oh let’s move on… yeah so there was a lack of real understanding there at that point. I get it now; people were too far under the magical drink.
I think some of the scenes looked clumsy in places, like they rushed to finish them and didn’t even fine tune the graphics, actually in some scenes I thought they might have just created them from The Sims! They look pretty chunky which is the disappointing part when you look at the environments they can produce and the styles they are playing with. It’s almost like they lost their budget, I can’t help but thinking, if the investment to polishing this off had been half as passionate as Tameem’s answers on twitter, this would be an entirely different experience.
I also found I was shouting at the screen in places, the scripting was pretty awful in places but it’s little bits like the mop insult and the amount of swearing. I just found that hard work, I mean I am happy to hear swearing if it seems relevant but the idea that this “English” satire and Shakesperean style script is “Fuck you” loaded seems to actually prove in all honesty that to me it is not.
Dante asks at one point why he should give a shit about mankind, and you find yourself thinking he’d have been better off left in his trailer and going to the strip club. In all honest he is right, he hasn’t got a reason. After all he’s half-angel and half-demon so he has no real connection with either. The Nephilim as a race don’t really seem to need to be involved in the human world, I just see this as some random insert of a third neutral race, you know like we hoped Panda’s would be in the New World of Warcraft? Don’t take sides watch in the middle, fuck them both up!
Right so here’s why we loved the original argument between Dante and Vergil, oh and why Dante fought Mundus yada yada. Now… they are both half-human and half-demon. So depending on which brother you listened too depended on the idea of which side came first. For cock-sure Dante it was all about the humans, for Vergil it was all about the power of being a demon. They had a human side and this was a bone of contempt for one of them enough to go against his twin for success.
If you ever played Vampire the Masquerade then you will have heard the motto “A beast I am lest a beast I become” and it’s this adage that creates a wonderful play between the characters and their views. In DMC4 Dante tells Agnus all about this fact, Nero repeats it to Sanctus later, that power and humanity have the drive to make the characters push beyond just a powerful monster. Gah I could go on about this particular part of it for days so I shall hope that made the point enough.
At this point I feel like I am writing a pretty terrible essay for my GCSE’s, yes I took them years ago, which is pretty much how the dialogue treats me. When I was at school I learnt about the World Wars, I leant that intelligence, politics and propaganda were as much a part of any war as the battlefield soldiers are. I felt like I was being told this because I was too stupid to understand why they were taking on the corporations and the drink’s factory. This is for mature audiences, so please… have the respect to treat us as such.
To be honest, to say the script is poor all the way through is not fair, good points later so I will point this out, I got a bit pissed off with the fact that some of the dialogue was as transparent as Legolas pointing out we needed a distraction… Donte/Dante (whatever) summarises the entire thing half way through the game and to be honest by this point I had worked it out but here goes – take out the News and take out the Virility drinks factory brain-washing people, take out Mundus… mini-adventure the end.
I even guessed it would be some warped jiz-fest in the drink within seconds of it being mentioned. Nothing so subtle as a poison or some sort of mind-flayer brain freeze nope – it's more like a puerile and badly written adult erotica fanfic. Kat already gave up the squirrel cum in the first part about how to use Limbo as a witch, lets just go the whole hog. The sex is overly-hyped up to the point of a young man masturbating over any little reference about adult romping. Look I am aware that DMC’s puns were pretty freaking cheesy, that’s what made them so funny!
Is that his cum face?
DMC First I whip it out, Then I thrust it. With great force! Every angle...! It penetrates! Until! With great strenght! I... ram it in! In the end, we are all satisfied, and you are set free.
Again good points come later, this is the OMG NO part... "Fuck You" just doesn't cut it compared to that. It's my opinion but the silly references were just plain amusing
Oh and whilst we’re on the subject of Fuck! Why do I need a FUCKING reminder of every enemy as it appears on screen, right here goes, people bitch about the manga and Japanese influences on the other games, do you realise in breaks on anime in Japan you get a little banner with your characters/bad guys etc? Gimme a break, I seriously need to be told I am fighting Bob or Mundus? GAH! Again minor niggle but I had enemy files I just looked there if I needed their name.
Mundus: I am Mundus!
Kat’s story also served to be irritating, the story of her being abused by a demonic step-father? Look I genuinely, GENUINELY, feel very sorry for ANY child that has suffered the hands of an abusive parent. The way it’s handled is like she’s perfectly okay with it now, because Vergil came along and showed her the reality of it all, excuse me? I think a human abusive bastard of a parent would be enough to contend with but they put in another extremely volatile subject and turned it into nothing more than a passing conversation in a car?
Mundus – I am going to put him in the neutral zone, why? Despite the fact he’s one UGLY motherfucker on screen (more to do with the graphics and the weird sort of glowy thing going on) but you see call me stupid but if the demons aren’t actually in your face and you as a human are not facing that surely that is a good thing? I go back to the Masquerade in Vampire, you aren’t seen you control from the background. To be honest Mundus isn’t so much a demon as the perfect Lasombra/Ventrue kindred. Oh yeah… they got a few like that in their books. So yeah Mundus – he is actually the one to point out they just started a war and brought on the destruction. MMM gets you thinking Dante? Nah fuck it, shoot it and follow Vergil he’s your brother.
Having a totally childish moment – Assiel – sounds like ass in hell…
Lock on feature? Oh yes that old thing… I figure this screen shot might explain why it’s missing. He can’t focus too well on any one target to have it.
Dante: should have gone to Specsavers?
Okay back on track… sorta?
Vergil – Oh Vergil, beautiful honourable and intelligent man that you were… why do you use guns? Why do you shoot pregnant people from behind? I think I might have let out an audible sigh by this stage. Right… Vergil wears blue, is a symbol of honour but with the usual crux of supreme greed! I loved original Vergil, he was just evil enough to be borderline redeemed by Dante and that kept them just about caring enough as bro’s need too. To be honest I wanted to murder the son-of-a-bitch myself and when Kat stops Dante I can’t help but think that’s a waste, they could have ended the franchise and let Dante go back to his fucking trailer. Yeah I F-bomb this one!
So summary on the negatives?
- · I haven’t wasted time on gameplay because enough people did that and did it better, but I can do this on normal mode and above with struggling. Previously I was one of those gimps that got a pat on the head and given easy mode so the challenge seems lessened even for the supposedly more hard-core aspects.
- · I feel insulted about my intelligence but I was more insulted by the whole approach to old fans, and by the way Tameem… it’s NOT about the hair, did I mention the hair? SHIT there’s a question, someone explain why Vergil’s is white from the start… was he the milkman’s?
- · Cutscenes, to me some looked like bad mod’s from learning students, then others looked more refined. There’s a lot to be said for final cuts and I think it had the potential to look far more fluid than it did.
- · Dante – ‘I didn’t ask for your help?’ We didn’t ask for a reboot so suck it up. The script in places is far too clumsy, it claimed to have some English Satire but has really just gone for potty humour. It’s not made us look good guys… and you are from the reputable city of Cambridge.
- · The desire to “shock” us with the awful sex scenes, constant references to sex and god knows what else to do with FUCK really didn’t make me feel mature. To be honest at any point if I was 14 years old, it’s similar to being caught in the bathroom having forgotten to lock the door and your mother walking in, actually I’d have had less explaining to do there than if I’d been caught with this game.
- · It feels like someone tried to make a game off a fanfic alternate universe, I got very little sense this was a game for demon vs humans etc. What I think it could have been was a far better MOB game… why? Summary – Evil mobster owns too much, other mobsters dislikes… 30’s Chicago remake with Mundus as Al Capone? Now that would have made it a game. This didn’t need DMC this needed trench-coats and realism to make it a good game. In fact I would have probably enjoyed it as a setting far more.
- · I was more in touch with the desire to see Mundus rip his brother’s head off, regardless of the scenario I find my head unable to comprehend any scene where Vergil is shooting someone in the back from behind and this for me ruined the idea of it being DMC… it’s just Wuboot with bad interpretations of some characters on a screen.
- · Finally – Phew I know right? IF they wanted this to sell instead of letting Tameem have his self-opinionated and asshattery brought to the front give this to people with a real job in media relations. I now call that moment where your kid screams he wants a cookie in Walmart and hates you for saying you can’t see why he’s awesome for it 'a Tameem'. Tantrums, ignorant rants and people that go for “Your mom” are now doing a Tameem. Ta da.
So on to positive?
Alright let’s try it. I admit I am not nearly as up on this as I am ranting but I said I would try!
Firstly – Dante has always had an attitude so it’s not like him being a bit of a mouthy git was anything too out of character. I think it’s easy to moan about that, but maybe that’s because we idolise him too much and forget he does go out of his way to rub people up the wrong way. They did get that bit right in many ways, just wish the f-bombs were less.
Kat is not as annoying as some of the assistants I’ve had in games but I didn’t see her as that necessary, he already tells her he knows how to get out of Limbo. Really she’s just there to make sure it’s a bit easier and I would have been happy to have her out of it sooner and have the D-man wandering a bit more without some hand-holding BUT she is a tool and she’s able to move the story line on and the game play for you so hey give her a small break, and hey you moaned Kyrie was weak and shit, guess there’s no pleasing some people (oh oh pick me!).
I actually appreciated both brothers being given stories for their memory loss, it did in a way which meant less of the controversy about that aspect of who remembered what and why. It was a tidy explanation and Vergil gives him a good reasoning about how he cannot be human, meningitis being a lie to him etc. That was not so bad. I give that one kudos and similarly the flashback moments, for the children that they were, are handled well.
Subjugating the masses from the perspective of false promises is really not knew so it was a good thing they put in something that conspiracy theorists can get their teeth into right? I mean I will hold my hands up and say I am AWFUL at doing anything past sitting around and if sitting on my ass with a drink that was going to make me loose weight was an option - hell yeah I’d take it!
I feel a need to mention Phineas now, this is like the Samuel L Jackson of prisoners as far as demon’s go. I liked him, he was like cyberpunk meets demons and that’s a thumbs up. He was a crazy enough cook with knowledge that gave Dante another reason to consider if it was really all about just being a human and doing as he was effectively asked by his brother. Phineas got top marks as a character but I also think that it helped he was not someone I’d seen before and was original enough to just sit and enjoy the interactions of him.
There are some good lines in there, one liner here and there that gave me a smirk. One of which was quite ‘Dante’ to me, “Breaking News Bob- you’re fired!” that to me was pretty good. I was hoping for more of Bob humour.
The cut scene for the nightclub has come under fire a little from some people, I found it amusing, the guy is being an ass about his name not on the list. You know what I hate? Lists… I have OCD I have lists for lists! So yeah Fuck You list! I give you that one NT and Capcom. Top hat and all.
- · Game play IS accessible for people with little to no gaming skills and no doubt as you go on you can select the harder Bloody Palace etc to satisfy the bloodlust.
- · The environments (even those that seemed a bit taken from other games) were set nicely, vibrant colours and the overall aspect that way wasn’t utterly displeasing to the eyes.
- · The characters DO play off each other okay, I did say okay, I mean I can’t say amazing but they worked as a collective I suppose.
- · Couple of good lines that stood out.
- · Vergil is consistently dark and even at the end Dante can’t take him out, there’s still that family feud.
In short however - I'll live in the past thanks. DMC4 was my idea of graphics and scenery mixed with story and less of the wars about how it wasn't cool. I will remain faithfully out of cool and in my happier days. I'm not letting him close shop I still have achievements and I want to see him again more now.